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Lent: Negative People

March 4, 2010 by revjim  
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The person couldn’t help but say it.  It was always something: a snide remark or a negative comment.  This was just how this person was.  They needed to belittle others or point out little flaws that didn’t really matter a whole lot in order to make themselves feel bigger or better.  In fact, you just know that whenever you get around this person that it is like walking on eggshells…who knows what they are going to say or if they are going to say something about you!  This person is angry, hurt and continues to punish others for it.  Who is it?  Maybe you…maybe someone you know…maybe your boss…your spouse…a lifelong friend.
I used to try to just be as friendly as possible to these people.  The reason I was so nice to them is that I used to fear that they would turn on me eventually.  I realized over years that no matter how nice I was to people like this that nobody was immune to their anger or criticism.  It was just a matter of time before I was the focus of something that they didn’t like.  In fact, by just always being nice and placating them, I realized that I was only enabling their bad behavior.
Now I just LOVE them.  Love doesn’t suggest that I enable them more, but instead love means that I hold them accountable for behavior that hurts others.  It means that I am not afraid to “tell it like it is” even when the truth might sting a little.
Jesus was like that.  He “told it like it was!”  In fact, the truth that He shared turned people upside down.  What if you were the one holding the rock about to stone the young woman?  What if you were the leader of the church and heard Jesus’ indictment upon your life?  What if you were the rich man and encountered Jesus’ words of life?  What if you were one of the disciples and heard the parables of truth, the Beatitudes or the Sermon on the Mount.  I mean these are real truths for our lives.  These are “get right to the point” and “knock us on our heels” answers.
People will never change if we remain silent.  People that hurt others, say things about people when they are not present, make little jabs at the character of folk and all the rest will continue to do just that if we don’t say something.  You know, they might even continue to do it after they are confronted, but at least you pointed it out…you tried to change it.
So don’t be afraid anymore of people like this.  Whatever you do, don’t let them make you angry, but instead, let them embolden you to stand up for what is right.
I thank God for these kinds of people and believe me I know who they are.  It makes me see the thing I don’t ever want to be, but it makes me realize there is still a lot of preaching left to be done and a lot of love yet to be shared.
So today, make this a part of your Lenten Journey.  Let us all stand up and out and let the world know there is a better way to live.  Tell it like it is.  Don’t be afraid to say it.  When you do amazing things will happen.  When you do others will take notice.  When you do people’s lives will change!
Love you all,
Rev. Jim

The person couldn’t help but say it. It was always something: a snide remark or a negative comment. This was just how this person was. They needed to belittle others or point out little flaws that didn’t really matter a whole lot in order to make themselves feel bigger or better. In fact, you just know that whenever you get around this person that it is like walking on eggshells…who knows what they are going to say or if they are going to say something about you! This person is angry, hurt and continues to punish others for it. Who is it? Maybe you…maybe someone you know…maybe your boss…your spouse…a lifelong friend.

I used to try to just be as friendly as possible to these people. The reason I was so nice to them is that I used to fear that they would turn on me eventually. I realized over years that no matter how nice I was to people like this that nobody was immune to their anger or criticism. It was just a matter of time before I was the focus of something that they didn’t like. In fact, by just always being nice and placating them, I realized that I was only enabling their bad behavior.

Now I just LOVE them. Love doesn’t suggest that I enable them more, but instead love means that I hold them accountable for behavior that hurts others. It means that I am not afraid to “tell it like it is” even when the truth might sting a little.

Jesus was like that. He “told it like it was!” In fact, the truth that He shared turned people upside down. What if you were the one holding the rock about to stone the young woman? What if you were the leader of the church and heard Jesus’ indictment upon your life? What if you were the rich man and encountered Jesus’ words of life? What if you were one of the disciples and heard the parables of truth, the Beatitudes or the Sermon on the Mount. I mean these are real truths for our lives. These are “get right to the point” and “knock us on our heels” answers.

People will never change if we remain silent. People that hurt others, say things about people when they are not present, make little jabs at the character of folk and all the rest will continue to do just that if we don’t say something. You know, they might even continue to do it after they are confronted, but at least you pointed it out…you tried to change it.

So don’t be afraid anymore of people like this. Whatever you do, don’t let them make you angry, but instead, let them embolden you to stand up for what is right.

I thank God for these kinds of people and believe me I know who they are. It makes me see the thing I don’t ever want to be, but it makes me realize there is still a lot of preaching left to be done and a lot of love yet to be shared.

So today, make this a part of your Lenten Journey. Let us all stand up and out and let the world know there is a better way to live. Tell it like it is. Don’t be afraid to say it. When you do amazing things will happen. When you do others will take notice. When you do people’s lives will change!

Love you all,

Rev. Jim

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